The Way I Loved You
by livelaughlove123
Summary: Songfic about Rory reflecting on her lives with her current boyfriend and previous ones. My first song fic ever so please read & review! The song is The Way I Loved You by Taylor Swift.


**A/N: This just popped up in my head as I was listening to the song, "The Way I Loved About You" by Taylor Swift. I can't help it, I'm addicted to the Lit fanfics. R&R, thanks!**

**Disclaimer: I own neither the show Gilmore Girls or the song :(**

_He is sensible and so incredible  
And all my single friends are jealous  
He says everything I need to hear and it's like  
I couldn't ask for anything better  
_

He was the perfect boyfriend. He was hot with his perfect blond hair and beautiful smile. He had the cutest nickname for me, "Ace". Everyone told me how lucky I was to be in a relationship with him. When he whispers my name, I automatically curl up to him. He is perfect and that means I am happy, at least that's what I tell myself.

_He opens up my door and I get into his car  
And he says, you look beautiful tonight  
And I feel perfectly fine_

He opens the door for me to his black Porsche like a gentleman. He always compliments me, telling me I look beautiful which makes me think this is easy, that this is how I can love him because falling for him was easy, almost too easy.

_But I've been screamin' and fightin'  
And kissin' in the rain  
And it's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name  
You're so in love that you act insane  
And that's the way I loved you  
_

A little voice in the back of my head tells me that everything is too perfect. That everything feels too rehearsed, too polite. I'm used to the yelling and the crying and the stress. With him, everything is high society and polite and not me. I'm supposed to be the town princess, the one who ends up with Prince Charming with all the money, fame, and fortune, the one with the great job, the perfect guy. But, what if the perfect guy isn't the one. What if he isn't the one that makes you feel like yourself around, but instead the one that makes you become someone else. What if you knew the one that was supposed to be for you and you let him slip away. What if he came back for you and rejected him, letting yourself sit down and cry like never before on a box as the scene fades away.

_Breakin' down and comin' undone  
It's a roller-coaster kinda rush  
And I never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you_

I never told you, but you knew, you told me you loved me. I always held on to my oppositions, my pro/con lists that I fixed to make sure that you weren't the one because you weren't supposed to be, were you?

_He respects my space and never makes me wait  
And he calls exactly when he says he will  
He's close to my mother  
Talks business with my father  
He's charming and endearing, and I'm comfortable_

But is the perfect one the one that is sitting next to me now. This one is easy for me to be with, the one I don't have to fight with, don't have to expose my true self around. He's easy to be with, but is love supposed to be easy?

_But I've been screamin' and fightin'  
And kissin' in the rain  
And it's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name  
You're so in love that you act insane  
And that's the way I loved you_

When I wake up next to him early in the morning, too early, I let my thoughts wander. I told the first one I loved him and this one, but never you, never you. But, why? Is it because I truly loved you, more than any of the others and that's why I could never own up to my feelings for you? I guess that's what they mean when they say that when you're in love, you do crazy things like push away from the ones you want. But, then he whispers, "Ace" and I turn back over to the easy one, the one that I can count on, the one that I don't have to chase after.

_Breakin' down and comin' undone  
It's a roller-coaster kinda rush  
And I never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you  
_

But, I can still remember sitting on the bridge eating out of my basket, our legs swinging in tandem. I remember our first kiss, that wonderful act of rebellion. I remember that easy smirk as you poured me coffee. I remember that day that I kissed you behind the diner and felt like I was on top of the world.

_He can't see the smile I'm fakin'  
And my heart's not breakin'  
'Cause I'm not feelin' anything at all_

As I go back to sleep, I wonder why he never notices how I zone out sometimes, thinking of past days, ones I can never get back. I would never admit it, but he broke my heart and left it in pieces, but I can't admit that because of my attempts at perfection. I try to fit the pieces back together as I put up the perfect facade with my perfect boyfriend and his perfect car and his perfect life.

_And you were wild and crazy  
Just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated  
Got away by some mistake and now_

But at 17, I was too young to understand what love was. You, on the other hand, no matter how rebellious and mischievous you were, you knew how you felt around me, while I couldn't help but feel frustrated as if something was wrong, but reflecting on it now, I see that it was actually right. That letting you leave me was a mistake. That I should have chased after you and pulled you into my arms and never let you go.  
_  
I'll be screamin' and fightin'  
And kissin' in the rain  
It's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name  
I'm so in love that I acted insane  
And that's the way I loved you_

Reflecting, I found that I couldn't have done anything when fate stepped in and took you away from me. But, I had a second chance, a third, a fourth, even a fifth to get you back. We were older and I should have embraced my feelings for you, but instead now all I'm left with is memories. Memories of that first kiss, that heartache, the heartbreak, and the feelings underneath it all.

_Breakin' down and comin' undone  
It's a roller-coaster kinda rush  
And I never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you  
_

You made me who I am today, but him, the perfect one is taking me away from you yet again. I lost myself somewhere along the way, but you helped me find myself. You were the one who held me close and never looked back. I miss that fearless love where every day was a heartbreak, an amazing kiss, a beautiful, mind blowing crooked smile.

_And that's the way I loved you  
I never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you_

I miss the way chocolate eyes melted into my blue ones as I leaned into to kiss you. The way my hands automatically drove through your curly beautiful brown hair. The way you smelled of leather as I leaned into you and your arm curled around me. The way we were perfect with each other, but didn't have to be perfect by ourselves. The way you knew what I was thinking but yet I couldn't read you. The way that we both had our flaws and fears but nonetheless I loved the way I loved you.

**AN: Thanks for reading! Please review!**


End file.
